A good friend in the banking sector uses a simple mantra for doing business. When he meets a potential lead, he actually shuns the business at first. He tells the person, “I don’t want to do business with you right now.”
Shocker huh? What would your leads do if you told them that?
But he follows with, “No, I don’t want to do business with you until we have established a know, like and trust connection. All three have to happen for our business to be successful and mutually rewarding.”
Look at these three simple pieces:
“All things being equal people will do business with, and refer business to, those people they know, like, and trust.” ~ The Go-Giver by Bob Burg and John David Mann
Think about your most valued relationships. Didn’t you do all three before the connection became meaningful?
First you got to know the person. If you did it well, you learned their likes and dislikes, their needs and wants, and their opinions about key things you might share together.
In dating, getting to know the person is the only way to take the relationship to another level for having something that matters. Until you know someone, you may not like them.
Getting to know someone allows the window of opportunity to open.
As you build some familiarity with this other person you decide “hey I like you!” How often to young couples utter the words “I’m falling in ‘like’ with you.”?
Liking is about alignment of principles and beliefs. You don’t have to agree on everything, but you can align. There are far more things that match than not. Liking is also about enjoying the company. You want to have time together whether in person, by phone or by email.
You look forward to the moments when you connect with a person you like. You would never dodge their calls.
Like can build trust. The more you like a person, the more you open up and share deeper thoughts and opinions. Soon trust develops. You decide that you can trust this person with the important things going on in your world.
It’s been said in many ways “trust has to be earned”. I fully believe that is absolutely true.
It is human nature to need some level of trust before you commit to a serious transaction; whether the exchange is emotional or financial.
The bigger the stakes, the more trust we need. I’ve bought quite a few online apps and ebooks for under $3. I have no real idea who the seller is or what they represent. But if I were to apply for a new mortgage, I am going to shop for a lender I know, like, and trust.
These same three steps relationship building steps apply at work too. Your employees need to establish the same three tiers before they totally buy-in to the way you may want to run your team.
If people feel like they don’t even know you, you’ll never influence their behavior at work.
If they know you, but still don’t particularly like you, there will still be push back. You may get some level of participation, but it will be reluctantly given.
However, as you start to build trust, you have taken a major step towards big gains. Employees who trust your decision making and leadership will reach much further and work harder for longer periods of time.
Obviously, you need to afford them the same opportunity. You need to know, like, and trust your team too. If someone has failed to open up at work you may not even like them much less trust them.
As the manager, if you don’t trust someone on your team, it will be up to you to figure out why that lack of trust exists.
The next time you meet someone new, think about these three things. See for yourself how much better the relationship grows as you work on the know, like, and trust elements.