Continuing our discussion about Robert S. McGee’s “Search for Significance” (Simon and Schuster, 1987), McGee cites SHAME as one aspect of misguided significance. This mindset causes me so much concern for my clients and mentees.
“I am what I am, I cannot change.”
Oh how sad that sentiment is to me. I have had a number of clients bring those thoughts into our discussions. So my response goes something like this.
- Let’s talk about CHANGE
- Can you agree there is change all around us?
- Seasons change
- People’s physical being changes by growing up and growing old
- Ideas change (or are you still using a rotary phone and AM radio?)
- The list can go on……
- So how is it YOU are the only one within this list that doesn’t change?
The truth is, I have found another pattern in dealing with the people who profess the “I cannot change” position. Almost without exception, people with this look at life have become victims of prior failures. The collection of past experience builds up so severely the person cannot see past those fails. According to McGee,
“It’s as though there is an odd connection to the past that causes someone to hang on”.
By declaring I cannot change, a person sets the course for low expectation. Someone once said the only learning comes outside our comfort zone. Refusing to accept the possibility of change is not much different than trying to teach my grandson to eat vegetables.
Are you someone who believes there is no hope for a new outcome? You can start to accept change by deciding to try one new thing today. Just try it.
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